Bad Coaching

"Come on Dad, I want to go home". My daughter barked those words after her softball team got beat (again) last night. "So...why the long face" as I turned the key in the car. "I don't want to talk about it" she said (a sure fire response to a pathetic question). Moments later however, she was all talk and I (the leadership/management executive) was all ears.

Turns out her softball coach, tired of losing and pissed off about how the teams is playing called them "losers" and that they "stink". Now these are 12 year old girls in 6th grade and being 12 and impressionable that was probably not the right thing for the coach to say.

My wife and I have some issues during the season with the coach, like when he sent out an email lambasting the kids who "weren't trying" and making the game "difficult for the kids who were". Kind of a passive aggressive approach to dealing with frustration some would say.

But calling 12 year old girls "losers" and that the team "stinks" reminds me of a manager I once worked for who told me that "if business didn't turn around, heads would roll". I never understood that kind of thinking. While change might be needed and heads might indeed have to roll (starting with the manager I thought then) it was completely inappropriate to lambast the group publicly. The softball coach shouldn't have addressed the girls that way and Managers who address their staffs that way can't see the forest through the trees.

Every team, business, office has problems. Effeciency is never optimal and winning is allusive and difficult in the best of times. Today, is certainly not the best of times. So...rather then tell everyone they "stink" or their "losers", rather than publicly criticize others in a public forum the best managers and leaders deal with specific issues with specific players and COACH them to better outcomes.

This would seem so obvious it shouldn't need to be said, but too many people who profess to lead people never figure that. They key to changing a losing proposition into a winning one is individual/one-on-one coaching. It's identifying the shortcomings and working with those individuals to overcome them. When that is done the individual improves and the team improves. It's hard but it's the only way long term and sustaining success is built.

"I'm not playing softball next year" my daughter barked as she was finished venting about the coach. "I understand sweatheart" I said. Inside though I was furious and I wanted to drive back and tell the coach "don't you understand how unmotivating you are". But...I don't feel it's my place and as I told my daughter, "honey, there are good coaches and bad coaches. That's the way it is in life. Hopefully, we can get you on a team with a better leader." "You mean coach she said". "Yes honey, I meant coach.